The kind of pride I simply do not understand is that of pride over something that is completely outside of our control. For instance if someone where to be born with birth defect would they take pride in that or simply accept it as a part of who they are and move on with life, trying to not let what ever abnormality they might have been born with effect them as much as they can.
In my case this defect is that I am transgender and when I was in development my body follow the path of male development, but my brain didn't. I was born with a female mind and as hard as that may be to comprehend, just look at all the evidence that we see every day that proves that men and women think differently. In my case my mind did all that it could to try and survive in a male role that it never understood and at times it attained some level of success. All in all however I was broken. I was trying to function with two separate pieces of hardware that were simply incompatible. So upon finally understanding this I decided that my only option to not just live a happy life, but to live a life at all was to take what ever steps I needed to make my mind and body compatible. All the studies that have been done that I am aware of have show that nothing can be done to the mind to correct this problem, but what can be done is to alter the body to bring it as close to in line with the mind as possible. This is the journey I have undertaken and I intend to see threw to it's end no matter where that end may be.
I have already had many people turn their backs to me over my seeking medical help for this birth defect and I knew going into this that loosing family, friends, and so much more was not just possible but very likely. This does not change the way I feel about the need to deal with this condition that has caused me more pain in my life than I could possibly express. So much pain that at this time last year I was more than ready to leave this life.
So this is what brings the question of pride into my mind. So many people I meet say that they are proud to be trans, and I simply do not understand this. I don't understand taking pride in something that has caused me almost more pain than I could handle and nearly lead to the end of my life. I do not wish to be transgender, I don't want to feel like I am being torn apart from the inside out. So why would I want to take pride in any of this. I can see taking pride in the fact that I found out what it has been that has caused me so much pain and found a way to overcome it, but that to me at least wouldn't be taking pride in being trans, that would be taking pride in the fact that I didn't give up. I chose to survive regardless of what it may have cost me in relationships, career opportunities, or even just social acceptance. I will take pride in my desire and drive to overcome, but to take pride in the thing that I am fighting to overcome simply make no seance to me at all.
